Proverbs 27: Lessons for Maintaining Blessed Relationships Based Upon Yahweh’s Wisdom
Introduction: Here, Solomon provides lessons for maintaining blessed relationships based upon Yahweh’s wisdom. These include: (1) self-control, (2) loving discipline, (3) contentment, (4) faithfulness, (5) discernment, (6) loving encouragement, and (7) good stewardship.
First, in verses one through four, Solomon lists three deadly sins of the flesh for believers to avoid: (1) pride, (2) wrath, and (3) jealousy. To maintain blessed relations, believers should control the evil desires of their flesh. Failing to do so can ruin relationships. Second, in verses five and six, Solomon provided two examples for how a true friend shows loving discipline to another friend caught in sin. To maintain a blessed relationship, believers should also show love for wayward people by correcting them when they are not walking with God. Third, in verse seven, Solomon stressed the importance of being content with God’s provision. To be in a blessed relationship, be satisfied with God’s provision. Fourth, in verses eight through 11, Solomon provides different examples to show how believers should fulfill their duties to each other and to God. People in blessed relationships seek to be faithful in fulfilling their obligations to each other and to God. Fifth, in verses 12 through 14, Solomon provided warnings of evil or potential evil circumstances for believers to avoid. People in a blessed relationship are discerning of evil or potential evil and avoid it to protect the relationship. Sixth, in verses 15 through 18, Solomon gave examples from the context of marriage and in the development of believers to exhort them to show loving encouragement to each other. People in blessed relationships provide loving encouragement and support to each other. Finally, in verses 18 through 27, Solomon provided multiple examples to show the importance of being a good steward. People in blessed relationships are good stewards with everything God provides.
1. Self-Control: To Maintain Blessed Relationships, Avoid the Sins of the Flesh that Antagonize, Like Pride, Wrath, and Jealousy. Prov. 27:1-4.
Pride can damage both your walk with God and your relationships. Pride is both toxic to your relationship with God and to how most other people will perceive you. Thus, you should never boast. Everything good that you have exists because of God’s will, and He can remove it any moment if it is part of His plans for you. “1 Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. 2 Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.” (Prov. 27:1-2). “No human being can infallibly predict what will happen in the future. Some predictions are reasonably secure, such as that the sun will rise. Others are dependent on circumstances, and some can be wildly unpredictable. A wise person makes plans (Proverbs 16:3; 20:18; 24:27) but takes his fallibility into account. Making well-reasoned choices is different from arrogantly ignoring risks. The word ‘boast’ translates a Hebrew root word rendered as ‘praise’ later in this passage (Proverbs 27:2). No one should praise himself for what he hasn't yet accomplished. A common English statement warns ‘don't count your chickens before they're hatched,’ meaning not all eggs necessarily become birds. Things our human minds expect to happen might not happen, so we shouldn't speak of them as absolute guarantees … Rather than overconfidence, we should approach the future with a sense of humility. ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that’ is a better attitude (James 4:15).” (BibleRef.com on Prov. 27:1).1 In verse two, “This teaching criticizes those who brag about things they have accomplished. In both cases, the concern is arrogance. Or, an inflated sense of one's own greatness. Even if the statements are factual, crowing about oneself doesn't look good to others. The better path is to let others speak well of you; it seems more like sincere praise and less like bragging.” (Id., Prov. 27:2).2
Protect your relationships from destructive boasting and pride3
Be humble to maintain blessed relationships. Pride is one of the things that God “hates” (Prov. 6:16-17). God therefore condemns all pride. “When pride comes, then comes dishonor; but with the humble there is wisdom.” (Prov. 11:2). “Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished …Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.” (Prov. 16:5,18). If you want to be honored in your relationships, be humble. “Before destruction the heart of a person is haughty, but humility goes before honor.” (Prov. 18:12). “For the LORD is exalted, yet He looks after the lowly, but He knows the haughty from afar.” (Ps. 138:6). You should therefore also avoid boasting about your future because only God knows your future, and He can change it. “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’ Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.”’ (Jam. 4:13-15).
The fear of the Lord brings the blessings of wisdom and honor. Solomon urged believers to let someone else praise you (Prov. 27:2). When you live with humility and reverent fear, people will honor and bless you in Jesus’ perfect timing. “The fear of the LORD is the instruction for wisdom, and before honor comes humility.” (Prov. 15:33). “Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.” (Matt. 23:12; Lk. 14:11). “But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, ‘God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ … Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.” (Jam. 4:6, 10). “A person’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.” (Prov. 29:23). “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time,” (1 Pet. 5:6).
Blessed relationships require being slow to anger and quick to forgive. Being wrathful, quick to anger, or unforgiving is toxic to both your walk with God and your relationships with other people. “3 A stone is heavy and the sand weighty, but the provocation of a fool is heavier than both of them.” (Prov. 27:3). “When we think about stones and sand, we can picture the physical effort involved in carrying them. They are not just heavy; they also require strength and endurance to manage. Feeling the weight of someone’s unyielding anger can be a struggle of a different kind. One element to consider here is the profound impact that a fool’s wrath has on relationships. It doesn’t just involve the anger itself, but also how that anger can affect others around the person. Foolish anger can create chaos and lead to a breakdown of communication and respect, unlike the more straightforward burden of carrying stones.” (Christianitypath.com on Prov. 27:3).4
Control your anger and forgive others when they hurt you. Solomon frequently warned believers to control their anger and wrath. “One who is slow to anger has great understanding; but one who is quick-tempered exalts foolishness.” (Prov. 14:29;16:32; Ecc. 7:9). These warnings are repeated in the New Testament. “You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger;” (Jam. 1:19). “But now you also, rid yourselves of all of them: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene speech from your mouth.” (Col. 3:8). “All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.” (Eph. 4:31). “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander,” (1 Pet. 2:1). “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.” (Matt. 5:21). You should instead forgive others when they hurt you. “Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (Eph. 4:32). If you do not forgive others when they hurt you, God also will not forgive you (Matt. 6:14-15).
Jealousy is also toxic to your relationships. Solomon warned that the sin of jealousy is even more damaging to relationships than wrath. “4 Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Prov. 27:4). “Envy is worse than both of them, partly, because it is more unjust and unreasonable, as not caused by any provocation, as wrath and anger are, but only proceeding from a malignity of mind, whereby a man is grieved for another man’s happiness, in which he should rejoice; partly, because it is more deeply rooted and implacable, whereas the other passions are commonly allayed; and partly, because it is more secret and undiscernible, and therefore the mischievous effects of it are hardly avoidable; whereas wrath and anger discover themselves, and so forewarn and forearm a man against the danger.” (Matthew Poole on Prov. 27:4).5
In the Bible, jealousy damaged many relationships. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery out of jealousy (Gen. 37:4, 11; Acts 7:9). Saul also turned on David because of his jealousy (1 Sam. 18:8-9). The chief priests also turned on Jesus out of jealousy (Mk. 15:10; Matt. 27:18). Thus, believers are warned to avoid all forms of jealousy. “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.” (Jam. 3:14-16). “for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like ordinary people?” (1 Cor. 3:3). “Let’s behave properly as in the day, not in … jealousy.” (Ro. 13:13).
2. Loving Discipline: A Blessed Relationship Should Include a Willingness to Discipline Another Out of Love. Prov. 27:5-6.
A blessed relationship is one where each is willing to correct the other out of love. Solomon warned that keeping your mouth shut when a brother or sister sins is detrimental to relationships over the long term. “5 Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.” (Prov. 27:5). “Solomon by inspiration of God defined true friendship and love for you. What is open rebuke? It is telling a man his fault personally and directly, whether against you, others, or God … Rebuking a friend for sin is true love, which Moses had taught long before (Lev 19:17). Not correcting him is truly hatred. Charity cannot bear another in sin (I Cor 13:6), as helping them live a holy life is the highest measure of love and friendship (I Sam 23:16). What is secret love? It is showing affection, friendship, and service without the courage or commitment to correct another’s faults. It is secret, for the real character of love – correction – is missing; it is called love sarcastically, for only outward flattery and superficial kindness exist in such a relationship. It is rather and truly hatred (Lev 19:17).” (LetGodbetrue.com on Prov. 27:5).6
True friends help to restore relationships through private rebukes. Nathan showed his love for David when he confronted him over his sins of adultery and murder (2 Sam. 12:1-7). Just as Nathan did for David, Jesus also urged believers to show their love for one another by rebuking each other in private. “Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” (Matt. 18:15). “Brothers and sisters, even if a person is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you are not tempted as well.” (Gal. 6:1). Seeking to help others grow in their walk through correction should be the natural outcome of your Spirit-led love for them. “I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another.” (Jo. 13:34-35; Mk. 12:30-31; Matt. 22:37-39). Watching others stumble in sin and taking no interest in helping them is not the sign of a true friend. In God’s eyes, it is no better than hating them (1 Jo. 4:20-21).
A faithful friend rebukes a wayward friend the same way Nathan rebuked David7
A true friend may cause temporary pain in restoring them, but never for personal gain. While pain inflicted upon others for personal gain is an inexcusable evil, temporary pain that leads to Spirit-led restoration is a beautiful thing in God’s eyes. “6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” (Prov. 27:6). “Faithful [are] the wounds of a friend.; That is, friendly reproofs; which, though they may be severe, at least thought so, and may grieve and wound, and cause pain and uneasiness for the present, yet, proceeding from a spirit of love, faithfulness, and integrity, and designed for the good of the person reproved, ought to be kindly received; see ( Psalms 141:5 ); but the kisses of an enemy [are] deceitful; flow from a deceitful heart, and not to be confided in, as the kisses of Joab and Judas.” (John Gill’s Commentary on Prov. 27:6).8
Gently rebuke a sinner out of love with the goal of seeking restoration. Even if it risks hurting the relationship, a true friend gives loving discipline to correct a wayward brother or sister. “May the righteous strike me with mercy and discipline me; it is oil for the head; my head shall not refuse it, for my prayer is still against their evil deeds.” (Ps. 141:5). “Do not rebuke a scoffer, or he will hate you; rebuke a wise person and he will love you.” (Prov. 9:8). “One who rebukes a person will afterward find more favor than one who flatters with the tongue.” (Prov. 28:23). “For the moment, all discipline seems not to be pleasant, but painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” (Heb.12:11; Gal. 6:1). In contrast, a false friend betrays or deceives. Judas, for example, betrayed Jesus with a kiss in order to receive a financial reward from Jesus’ enemies (Matt. 26:49-50; Lk. 22:48). In a similar way, Joab betrayed Amasa with a deceitful kiss before killing him (2 Sam. 20:9-10).
3. Contentment: People in Blessed Relationships Are Satisfied With God’s Provision. Prov. 27:7.
Being satisfied with God’s provision helps to also maintain blessed relationships. Being unsatisfied often creates chaos in relationships. Thus, Solomon urged believers to always be satisfied with God’s provision, even in poverty. “7 A satisfied person despises honey, but to a hungry person any bitter thing is sweet.” (Prov. 27:7). “Solomon here, as often in this book, shows that the poor have in some respects the advantage of the rich; for, 1. They have a better relish of their enjoyments than the rich have. Hunger is the best sauce. Coarse fare, with a good appetite to it has a sensible pleasantness in it, which those are strangers to whose hearts are overcharged with surfeiting. Those that fare sumptuously every day nauseate even delicate food, as the Israelites did the quails; whereas those that have no more than their necessary food, though it be such as the full soul would call bitter, to them it is sweet; they eat it with pleasure, digest it, and are refreshed by it. 2. They are more thankful for their enjoyments: The hungry will bless God for bread and water, while those that are full think the greatest dainties and varieties scarcely worth giving thanks for. The virgin Mary seems to refer to this when she says (Luke 1 53), The hungry, who know how to value God's blessings, are filled with good things, but the rich, who despise them, are justly sent empty away.” (Matthew Henry on Prov. 27:7).9
People in blessed relationships praise God in every circumstance. In Mary’s song, she praised God for ministering to her needs. “He has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty-handed.” (Lk. 1:53). Even in your poverty, Jesus can fill your soul with contentment and provide for your needs when you turn to Him. “For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and He has filled the hungry soul with what is good.” (Ps. 107:9). “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you.” (Matt. 6:33). Whether you are rich or poor, if you desire what Jesus desires for you, He will grant the desires of your heart. “Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps. 37:4). “He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry for help and save them.” (Ps. 145:19).
4. Faithfulness: People in Blessed Relationships Are Faithful in Fulfilling Their Obligations to Each Other and to God. Prov. 27:8-11.
People in blessed family relationships are faithful in fulfilling their family duties. Just as a bird must carefully guard its chicks in the nest, people in blessed family relationships faithfully watch over their family and provide for them. “8 Like a bird that wanders from its nest, so is a person who wanders from his home.” (Prov. 27:8). “This verse from Proverbs highlights the idea of security and belonging. The imagery of a bird wandering from its nest illustrates the dangers and challenges of straying away from one’s rightful place or community. Just as a bird risks its safety when it is away from its nest, we also face difficulties when we lose our sense of belonging or leave our supportive environments. In this context, the verse can be understood as a caution against abandoning our responsibilities, relationships, or spiritual homes. When we stray too far, we can find ourselves vulnerable and lost, which can ultimately lead to confusion and distress. In life, having a solid foundation and strong relationships is vital. Like a bird needs its nest, we need our communities, families, and friends to provide support and guidance. This verse encourages us to recognize the importance of staying grounded in our commitments instead of straying into unfamiliar territory that could be harmful or unproductive. While it is natural to seek new experiences, we must remain aware of the significance of our roots and where we come from.” (Jamie Wilson on Prov. 27:8).10
Being a drifter is frequently the sign of a cursed relationship. Being a drifter was part of God’s curse upon Cain after he murdered his brother Abel (Gen. 4:12, 14). God also scattered His people as a punishment (Dt. 28:64; Hos. 9:17). God further lamented when His people fled from Him as their God. “This is what the LORD says to this people: ‘So much they have loved to wander; they have not restrained their feet. Therefore the LORD does not accept them; now He will remember their wrongdoing and call their sins to account.”’ (Jer. 14:10). Thus, God wants you to be faithful in providing for the spiritual and physical needs of your family. “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Tim. 5:8). This includes brothers and sisters in Christ (Jam. 2:14-17).
Blessed relationships include friends who are faithful to each other. In addition to being faithful to your family, Solomon urged believers to be faithful to their friends. “9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and a person’s advice is sweet to his friend. 10 Do not abandon your friend or your father’s friend, and do not go to your brother’s house on the day of your disaster; better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” (Prov. 27:9-10). “It is hard to measure the value of a true friend. When we stand in need, the counsel of our friend is strengthening our souls. Therefore, work diligently to preserve those that are friends of the family, because there will come a time when you will need a good friend to help you in the way.” (Ronald Young, Prov. 27:9-10).11
To maintain blessed relationships, be faithful to others. Jesus declared what He did out of love for His people. Those who accept Him have a friend whose love knows no limits. “Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends.” (Jo. 15:13). Jonathan showed a brotherly love toward David and protected him from his wrathful father Saul (1 Sam. 18:1-3). Elisha, out of a brotherly love, also refused to leave Elijah (2 Kgs. 2:2). Out of love, Ruth also refused to abandon Naomi (Ruth 1:16-17). A true friend is faithful to others in their times of need. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Prov. 17:17). “A person of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24). “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up!” (Ecc. 4:9-10). “A Song of Ascents, of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to live together in unity!” (Ps. 133:1).
Be faithful and supportive of your friends to maintain and develop your friendships12
To maintain blessed relationships, be faithful to follow the wisdom of Jesus’ Word. Solomon urged his son to honor him by being faithful to follow Yahweh’s teachings. “11 Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad, so that I may reply to one who taunts me.” (Prov. 27:11). “Since the father cannot boast of his accomplishments (27:1-2), he appeals to the son to vindicate him by displaying the wisdom that he has taught him (cf. Ps. 127:4-5; 2 Cor. 3:1-3; 1 Thess. 2:19-20; 3:8).” (Bruce Waltke and Ivan De Silva on Prov. 27:11).13 Obedience to godly parental instruction is so important to God that it is one of the Ten Commandments. “Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged on the land which the LORD your God gives you.” (Ex. 20:12; Dt. 5:16).
Wise children honor their parents by following God’s Word. Israel was God’s “kingdom of priests” (Exod. 19:6). This meant that every person had a role in sharing God’s wisdom. Because no schools existed in Old Testament times, instruction regarding wisdom began within the families. Moses commanded parents to teach their children the Ten Commandments and the interpretive rules in the home (Dt. 6:7-9). In Proverbs, children are urged to follow the godly instruction of their parents (Prov. 1:8-9; 6:20: 10:1). “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother.” (Prov. 15:20). “My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad, and my innermost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right… And my innermost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you.” (Prov. 23:15-16, 24-25; 30:17). Honoring God’s Word and a parent’s godly instruction will also lead to blessed relationships.
5. Discernment: People in Blessed Relationships Should Be Discerning of Evil or Potentially Evil Circumstances. Prov. 27:12-14.
People in blessed relationships are discerning of evil and avoid it. Because evil damages godly relationships, Solomon called upon believers to be aware of evil and then avoid it. “12 A prudent person sees evil and hides himself; but the naive proceed, and pay the penalty.” (Prov. 27:12). “A wise person foresees trouble ahead and takes precautions, it says in verse 12. The word translated as simple (ytp pethiy) in this context essentially refers to a fool. Fools live for today and take little thought for the future, whether short term or eternal. The philosophy of the world is to enjoy yourself now and worry about tomorrow when it arrives. Such thinking is pervasive. Fools party now and are thrashed by the troubles of life later. The greater wisdom is to take the long look and prepare accordingly. The wise do, fools don’t.” (David Parham on Prov. 27:12).14
Be discerning of evil and take steps to protect yourself and others from danger15
Be alert to the devil’s schemes and avoid them to protect your relationships. A wise person is constantly on the lookout for evil. “A prudent person sees evil and hides himself, but the naive proceed, and pay the penalty.” (Prov. 23:3). “so then, let’s not sleep as others do, but let’s be alert and sober.” (1 Thess. 5:6). “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Pet. 5:8). “So then, be careful how you walk, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.” (Eph. 5:15-16). “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be as wary as serpents, and as innocent as doves.” (Matt. 10:16). If you are mindful of evil and then take steps to cling to Jesus’ wisdom, He will protect you and your relationships from the devil. “A prudent person sees evil and hides himself, but the naive proceed, and pay the penalty. And the rain fell and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.” (Matt. 7:24-25).
Be discerning of circumstances that may lead to financial bondage. Believers should be generous to the poor. But they should be alert to circumstances where they may place themselves in financial bondage. “13 Take his garment when he becomes a guarantor for a stranger; and for a foreign woman seize a pledge from him.” (Prov. 27:13). “This verse advises against becoming a guarantor for a stranger, emphasizing the importance of discernment in relationships. The ‘strange woman’ mentioned can symbolize temptation or unwarranted entanglements that lead one away from wisdom. This verse teaches us to consider the implications of our commitments and to be judicious in our relationships, particularly with those we do not know well. From a spiritual perspective, Proverbs 27:13 encourages believers to cultivate wisdom and prudence, reminding us that our choices can significantly influence our lives and the lives of those around us. It serves as a cautionary tale about the potential pitfalls of engaging with those whose character or intentions are uncertain.” (Bibleverseexplained.com on Prov. 27:13).16
Avoid circumstances where you take on financial obligations that you cannot afford. Solomon frequently warned about the dangers of becoming a surety or guarantor of another person’s unknown future debts (Prov. 6:1-2; 11:15; 17:18; 22:26-27). Paul also warned against unknown debts. “Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for the one who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the Law.” (Ro. 13:8). Paul agreed to take on Onesimus’ past debts to help Onesimus become freed from bondage. But Paul did not offer to place himself into bondage by taking on Onesimus’ potential future liabilities (Philemon 1:18-19). On the first day of His public ministry, Jesus entered the synagogue and read from Isaiah 61:1-2. He then declared that “He has come to proclaim release to the captives…” (Lk. 4:14-21). But the devil will always try to enslave you. Taking on unknown, future debt obligations is one of many ways for the devil to do that. Jesus wants you to be free from all kinds of bondage. Thus, you should never place yourself in bondage through debts that are beyond what you can afford: “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” (Gal. 5:1). “For you were called to freedom, . . .” (Gal. 5:13). “For you tolerate it if anyone enslaves you, anyone devours you, anyone takes advantage of you, anyone exalts himself, anyone hits you in the face.” (2 Cor. 11:2; Rom. 8:15; Jo. 8:36).
Be discerning of public acts that may cause another to stumble. Even when you try to bless a friend, you must avoid doing so in a public manner that may irritate or cause others to stumble. “14 One who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be considered a curse to him.” (Prov. 27:14). “If gratitude is to be acceptable, the time, place, and manner of shewing it must all be well chosen. A man who is so eager to express his thanks that he begins early in the morning, and in so loud a voice as to draw upon his patron the attention of all the bystanders, is looked upon as a nuisance; any one would as soon be cursed as blessed by him. So God loves heartfelt gratitude offered in secret.” (Charles Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers on Prov, 27:14).17
Be careful to avoid public acts that promote yourself. Jesus repeatedly warned that those who display their piety in public for all to see have received their reward from mankind and should not expect a reward in heaven (Matt. 6:1-2, 5-6; 23:5). Even when you try to do what is right, avoid engaging in actions that may cause others to stumble. “Therefore let’s not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this: not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s or sister’s way.” (Ro. 14:13,; 1 Cor. 8:9; Matt. 18:6).
6. Loving Encouragement: People in Blessed Relationships Provide Loving Encouragement and Support to Each Other. Prov. 27:15-18.
Blessed family relationships require love and support. Many unknowingly sabotage their family relationships through constant complaining. Instead, family members should support each other. “15 A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike; 16 He who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand.” (Prov. 27:15-16). “The scene is in a house with a bad roof, where a rainy day means continual dripping. That dripping shows there is a problem, it brings damage, and it greatly annoys. That is the same effect as a contentious woman in the house…Whoever restrains her restrains the wind: To correct or reform a contentious woman can be a fool’s errand. She can be as difficult to restrain as the wind or as hard to get a hold of as oil in the hand. Instead of trying to change a contentious woman, a wise and godly husband loves her as Jesus Christ loves His church (Ephesians 5:25-31) and leaves the changing up to God.” (David Guzik on Prov. 27:15-16).18
Love and encourage your spouse and your other God-given relationships19
Love and support your spouse. Spouses should avoid being quarrelsome. “It is better to live on a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman … It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and irritating woman.” (Prov. 21:9, 19; 19:13; Ecc. 7:26). Spouses should submit to Jesus’ authority and love each other just as He loved the Church. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Eph. 5:25). This also includes being kind to each other. “Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them.” (Col. 3:19).
Maintain a blessed relationship by building each other in God’s Word. Believers can bless their relationship by using God’s Word to edify, encourage, correct, and uplift each other. “17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Prov. 27:17). “Iron, the exceedingly hard, raw metal, is sharpened with iron, a metonymy for the hammer that the smith used to fashion the durable and powerful iron into a sharp tool (e.g., a knife) or weapon (e.g., a sword). Were the raw iron sentient, the beneficial sharpening would be painful. The face of a friend (or ‘neighbor’) is a pun, since the working edge of a sword or knife is called its ‘face’ (Eccl. 10:10) … The proverb does not say how one person sharpens another. Elsewhere, however, ‘sharpened’ is used metaphorically of a mouth and tongue (Ps. 57:4; Isa. 49:2), suggesting a person sharpens is a metaphor for dialogue … sharpening entails pain and violence, but it fails to take adequate account of the positive intent of the analogy of iron sharpening iron. A sharpened tool is better than a dull one. Though hard and violent, the pounding hammer produces an effective tool in the end. By the sufferings I AM inflicted on his Servant, the Sovereign Lord gave him a well-instructed tongue (Is. 50:4). (Bruce Waltke and Ivan De Silva on Prov. 27:17).20
Love, encourage, and build up others with Jesus’ Word21
Bless your relationships with the Word. Using God’s Word, believers should seek to sharpen, encourage, and strengthen one another in their faith. “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Col. 3:16). “speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your hearts to the Lord;” (Eph. 5:19). “and let’s consider how to encourage one another in love and good deeds, not abandoning our own meeting together, as is the habit of some people, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” (Heb. 10:24-25). “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you also are doing.” (1 Thess. 5:11; Ecc. 4:9-10). A great example of this was when Jonathan came to strengthen David during his exile (1 Sam. 23:16). You can bless your relationships by being a Jonathan to the David’s in your life.
7. Stewardship: People in Blessed Relationships Are Good Stewards With Everything God Provides. Prov. 27:18-27.
Blessed relationships are carefully cultivated. Just as farmers might carefully take care of their most valuable crops, believers can bless their God-given relationships by carefully developing them. “18 One who tends the fig tree will eat its fruit, and one who cares for his master will be honored.” (Prov. 27:18). “Whoso keepeth the fig-tree — That is, looks after it, and preserves it from suffering by drought, by vermin, or by wild beasts, &c.; shall eat the fruit thereof — Shall partake of its pleasant fruit in due time; so he that waiteth on his master — That serves him faithfully, prudently, and diligently; shall be honoured — Shall receive that respect and recompense which he deserves. He mentions the fig-tree, because such trees abounded in Canaan, and were valued and regarded more than other trees.” (Joseph Benson’s Commentary on Prov. 27:18).22
Jesus will bless those who are good stewards with the relationships that He provides. In heaven, Jesus will reward those who are faithful stewards of their God-given relationship. “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter the joy of your master... His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter the joy of your master.’” (Matt. 25:21; Lk. 19:17). “The one who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and the one who is unrighteous in a very little thing is also unrighteous in much.” (Lk. 16:10). “A faithful person will abound with blessings, but one who hurries to be rich will not go unpunished.” (Prov. 28:20; 1 Cor. 3:8; 2 Cor. 5:10; Ro. 14:12; Ecc. 12:14).
A person’s faithfulness as a steward in their relationship is a sign of a heart for Jesus. By the fruits of a relationship, you will know if a person has been a faithful steward over their heart by embracing what is good and avoiding evil. “19 As in water a face reflects the face, so the heart of a person reflects the person.” (Prov. 27:19). “This verse emphasizes the concept that our relationships are often a reflection of who we are inside. The heart, often symbolizing our inner thoughts and feelings, communicates with others, mirroring our intentions, emotions, and character. In a spiritual context, this verse reminds us that our connections with others should be authentic and genuine. The love, kindness, and integrity we display towards others often reflect the condition of our hearts. This understanding invites us to cultivate a heart filled with compassion, honesty, and love, as these qualities will resonate in our interactions. Moreover, the verse highlights the importance of self-examination. Just as one looks into a mirror to check their appearance, we are called to look into our hearts to assess our motivations and attitudes. This introspection can lead to spiritual growth and a deeper understanding of our purpose in life and our relationships with others.” (Bibleverseexplained on Prov. 27:19).23
The fruit in your relationships is evidence of what is in your heart24
Guard your heart to guard your relationships. Based upon what is in your heart, you will either engage in good or evil actions. “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Prov. 4:23). “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil person out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.” (Lk. 6:45; Matt. 12:35). Thus, you should always repent of any sinful desires before you act on them and then pray for God to clean your heart of evil desires. “Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Ps. 51:10; Dt. 30:6; Jer. 24:7; 31:33; 32:39-40).
To be a good steward in your relationships, be content with what God provides. Those who give into covetousness are never satisfied with their relationships. This in turn leads to destructive behaviors. “20 Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, nor are the eyes of a person ever satisfied.” (Prov. 27:20). ‘“Hell’ is sheol, the under-world, Hades, the place of the departed; ‘destruction’ is the great depth, the second death, personified (see on Proverbs 15:11, where the terms also occur). These ‘are never satisfied,’ they are insatiable, all-devouring (comp. Proverbs 30:16; Isaiah 5:14; Habakkuk 2:5). So the eyes of man are never satisfied. The verb is the same in both clauses, and ought to have been so translated. The eye is taken as the representative of concupiscence in general. What is true of ‘the lust of the eyes’ (1 John 2:16) is true of all the senses; the craving for their gratification grows as it is fed. Therefore the senses should be carefully guarded, lest they lead to excess and transgression.” (Pulpit Commentary on Prov. 27:20).25
Coveting destroys your current relations with false fantasies about what Satan provides. Coveting is an evil desire that can never be satisfied (Is. 5:14; Hab. 2:5; Ecc. 1:8). Thus, every believer should be content with the relationships that God provides. “But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.” (1 Tim. 6:6). Believers should also pray for the Holy Spirit to renew their minds from evil desires, like coveting. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Ro. 12:2; Eph. 4:23-24). To keep your heart clean, you must also deny any ungodly desires of your flesh, like lust and adultery. “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.” (Ro. 13:14).
Coveting can never be satisfied, and it can harm relationships through acts like adultery26
Protect your relationships from the temptations to boast when you are successful. Returning to the sin of pride, Solomon warns that failing to control the pride of life can lead to an inflated view of yourself and a false belief that you can “upgrade” your relationships for people that God did not provide. “21 The crucible is for silver and the furnace for gold, and each is tested by the praise accorded him.” (Prov. 27:21). “Praise creates a severe test of your soul… David, after killing Goliath, could have written his own ticket. Public opinion would have secured him the throne; after all, he had been anointed king (I Sam 16:1-13). But he told Saul he was merely a son of Saul’s servant, Jesse the Bethlehemite (I Sam 17:58). When offered Saul’s daughters, David thought the honor too high for him (I Sam 18:17-24). He was totally gracious in spite of universal adulation and won Jonathan’s heart (Pr 22:11).” (LetGodbetrue.com on Prov. 27:21).27
Protect your relationships by giving God the credit for your successes. Humility protects your relationships with both God and other people. “My soul will make its boast in the LORD; the humble will hear it and rejoice.” (Ps. 34:2). “This is what the LORD says: ‘Let no wise man boast of his wisdom, nor let the mighty man boast of his might, nor a rich man boast of his riches; but let the one who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises mercy, justice, and righteousness on the earth; for I delight in these things,’ declares the LORD.” (Jer. 9:23-24; 1 Cor. 1:31; 2 Cor. 10:17; Gal. 6:14). “But whatever things were gain to me, these things I have counted as loss because of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them mere rubbish, so that I may gain Christ,” (Phil. 3:7-8).
Be a good steward with God’s resources by only investing in godly relationships. Jesus wants you to share the good news with the lost (Matt. 28:19-20). But He does not want you to waste your time, talent, and treasures on ungodly relationships and fools who mock Him. “22 Though you pound the fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, his foolishness still will not leave him.” (Prov. 27:22). “The phrase ‘though thou shouldst bray a fool’ uses vivid imagery of grinding, suggesting a rigorous and labor-intensive process. Grinding is an arduous task that requires effort. Yet following this, we read that ‘his foolishness will not depart from him.’ This juxtaposition evokes a sense of frustration, showing us that no matter how hard we may labor to aid someone, their foolishness might still linger. It’s essential to understand the futility concerning one’s foolishness when they are resistant to change. This understanding invites us to be prudent in our relationships. We should engage those who are willing to receive guidance or correction while remaining aware of those who may not be open to it at all. Through its vivid language, this proverb encapsulates a profound truth: wisdom cannot be forced upon the unwilling. We all have the choice to heed counsel or remain ignorant. This principle can guide us in our relationships, ensuring we seek to build connections with those striving for growth and understanding.” (Christinanitypath.com on Prov. 27:22).28
Be a good steward by only investing in godly relationships. Although you should be a light to the lost, God does not want you to invest your time on an ongoing basis with scoffers. “One who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself, and one who rebukes a wicked person gets insults for himself. Do not rebuke a scoffer, or he will hate you; rebuke a wise person and he will love you.” (Prov. 9:7-8; 15:12; 23:9; 26:4-5). Some people will not change or repent (Jer. 13:23). God does not want you to invest His resources into these people. “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matt. 7:6). They are spiritually blind to God’s truth (Jer. 5:21; Matt. 13:13).
Be a good steward of your God-given flock. Instead of investing your time with scoffers, be a good shepherd to the people God has placed in your life. “23 Know well the condition of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds;” (Prov. 27:23). “The verse encourages us to be mindful and attentive, not just to our responsibilities but also to those depending on us. ‘Be diligent to know the state of your flocks’ speaks to the need for careful observation and care of what is entrusted to us. The ‘flocks’ may not necessarily be sheep or livestock but can represent our family, friends, career, or community. Understanding their status requires effort and genuine concern. This diligence then leads to the second part: ‘attend to your herds.’ This reminds us that taking care of our responsibilities does not end with mere observation. We are called to act upon our insights to facilitate growth and health for those we oversee. Thus, the deeper meaning of this verse can be summarized as the importance of being constantly engaged and proactive about the things that matter in our lives.” (Jamie Wilson on Prov. 27:23).29
Jesus calls upon believers to be good stewards over His flock30
Jesus calls upon believers to be good stewards over His flock. Jesus is the Good Shepherd. Out of love, He was crucified for His sheep (Jo. 10:11-15). He calls upon all believers to guard the members of Jesus’ flock. “Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” (Acts 20:28). “shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not with greed but with eagerness;” (1 Pet. 5:2).
Be a careful steward by investing in Jesus’ Kingdom over worldly wealth. Many focus on building worldly wealth. But Jesus wants you to use your God-given resources to focus on His eternal Kingdom. “24 For riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations.” (Prov. 27:24). “In the most direct sense, Solomon (Proverbs 25:1) continues to note the importance of good stewardship (Proverbs 27:23). A sensible man cares for his resources so they’ll continue to grow and flourish. That requires attention and diligence. It's unwise to assume that whatever a person has built up will last forever. Disaster can happen, and earthly wealth can be lost (Proverbs 23:4–5). The question asked here is rhetorical: the answer is assumed to be ‘no.’ Kings and kingdoms are not permanent. This is demonstrated in the Old Testament's many wars and coups. The point of these lessons is that attentive care for one’s resources—illustrated through ranching—provides a more secure future. Resting on one’s existing wealth, or failing to care for existing resources, can lead to ruin.” (BibleRef.com on Prov. 27:24).31
Invest into Jesus’ Kingdom and avoid hoarding. Hoarding wealth is a sin (Ecc. 5:13-14). Wealth will also pass. Thus, believers should focus on God’s eternal Kingdom. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matt. 6:19-21; 1 Tim. 6:17-19; 1 Jo. 2:16-17).
Trust in Jesus to provide as you invest into His Kingdom. Instead of trusting in worldly things that disappear like grass, Jesus wants you to trust in Him to provide. “25 When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen, and the herbs of the mountains are gathered in,” (Prov. 27:25). “This verse reveals God’s faithfulness in providing for His creation. It reminds us that just as the earth yields its produce in due time, so will our spiritual efforts bear fruit if we remain patient and diligent in our walk with God … Proverbs 27:25 calls us to persevere, trusting that God is faithful to bring growth and provision in His perfect timing. Consider ways to nurture your spiritual habits, trusting that God will bring forth His harvest in your life.” (HearJesusnow.com on Prov. 27:25).32
Jesus the Creator will provide for you when you serve Him. Jesus is the all-powerful Creator. Thus, you can trust Him to provide. “yet He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good and gave you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.” (Acts 14:17; Jer. 5:24; Ps. 65:9-11). “He waters the mountains from His upper chambers; the earth is satisfied with the fruit of His works. He causes the grass to grow for the cattle, and vegetation for the labor of mankind, so that they may produce food from the earth,” (Ps. 104:13-14).
Be a good steward over Jesus’ creation. Jesus created all things for our benefit. In turn, you are called upon to be a good steward and provider. “26 The lambs will be for your clothing, and the goats will bring the price of a field, 27 And there will be enough goats’ milk for your food, for the food of your household, and sustenance for your attendants.” (Prov. 27:26-27). “The shepherd that is wise knows his job and is concerned about his sheep, because they provide for him the needed supplies for this life. We are to take care of our families, and one of the ways in which we can do that is by being mindful to take care of the things that we have.” (Ronald Young, Prov. 27:26-27).33
Every good and perfect thing in your life is Jesus’ gift that is meant for good works. Jesus has made mankind stewards over His creation (Gen. 1:29-30). Every good and perfect thing in your life is a gift from Him. “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” (Jam. 1:17; Dt. 8:18). He expects each believer to be a good steward with their God-given gifts. “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the multifaceted grace of God.” (1 Pet. 4:10). Being a good steward includes performing good works that advance God’s Kingdom. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10).
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Proverbs 27 Commentary - Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (Complete) | Bible Study Tools↩︎
R. Young, Proverbs, A Commentary on the Book of Proverbs (SureWord Publications, Baltimore, MD, 2005), p. 354.↩︎
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B. Waltke and I. De Silva, Proverbs, A Shorter Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2021), p. 383.↩︎
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B. Waltke and I. De Silva, Proverbs, A Shorter Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2021), p. 384-385 (italics in original).↩︎
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R. Young, Proverbs, A Commentary on the Book of Proverbs (SureWord Publications, Baltimore, MD, 2005), p. 358.↩︎