Proverbs 31: Lessons from the Conclusion of Proverbs for Serving Jesus, His People, Your Spouse, and Your Family
Introduction: Proverbs 31 concludes the book of Proverbs with the wisdom of King Lemuel. No Jewish king had this name, and his name appears nowhere else in the Bible. Lemuel “לְמוּאֵ֣ל” translates as “belonging to God”.1 Some speculate that this was a pseudonym for King Solomon.2 But there is no evidence of this. Others translate the word that follows his name “מַ֝שָּׂ֗א”(masa or massa) as a proper noun as opposed to the word “vision” or “pronouncement” found in many translations. This alternative translation renders the first verse as “The words of Lemuel, King of Masa.” Masa was a small tribal nation in Arabia or Assyria.3 Because Agur was a gentile convert, it would be consistent to have another gentile covert follow Proverbs 30. If so, this gentile king’s message is important because it shows that God’s wisdom is freely available to all. The first nine verses describe the advice King Lemuel’s mother gave for him to be a wise king. The remainder of Proverbs 31 covers the mother’s description of the “virtuous wife.” The virtuous wife is a foreshadowing of the redeemed Church and bride of Christ. He is wisdom incarnate (1 Cor. 1:30). But Proverbs 31 also contains goals for any married couple.
In this conclusion to Proverbs, the Bible reveals seven lessons for serving Jesus, His people, your spouse, and your family. These include: (1) being Spirit-led, (2) pursuing justice, (3) love, (4) submission, (5) compassionate charity, (6) honoring Jesus, and (7) fearing Him by hating evil.
First, in verses one through seven, the Bible warns about the dangers of lust and drunkenness. To serve Jesus, He wants you to be led by the Spirit, not your flesh. Second, in verse eight through nine, the Bible urges believers to pursue justice for the poor and the defenseless. Jesus desires this from you as well. Third, in verses 10 through 12, as part of the description of the virtuous wife, the Bible describes the perfect wife who does no evil. This can only refer to the redeemed bride of Christ, the Church. In response to Jesus’ love for you, you can respond by loving Him, His people, your spouse, and your family. Fourth, in verses 13 through 18, the Bible describes how the virtuous wife submits her own needs to serve her spouse and her family. Your service to Jesus should include submitting your own needs to serve Him, His people, your spouse, and your family. Fifth, in verses 19 through 22, the Bible describes how the virtuous wife provides for the poor. Your service to Jesus should include compassionate charity for others in need. When you do this, Jesus will provide for your needs. Sixth, in verses 23 through 29, the Bible describes how the virtuous wife honors her spouse in work, the household, and the family. Jesus, your spouse, and your parents should all be honored. Finally, in verses 30 through 31, the Bible describes how the virtuous wife fears the Lord and receives God’s honor. If you serve Jesus and avoid what is evil (Prov. 8:13), He is faithful to honor you in heaven.
1. Being Spirit-Led: To Serve Jesus, Be Led By the Holy Spirit. Prov. 31:1-7.
Your walk with Jesus should be free from lust. King Lemuel began by repeating his God-fearing mother’s advice to control the desires of the flesh. If left unchecked, his lust for women would distract from both his walk with God and his duties as king for his people. “1 The words of King Lemuel, the pronouncement which his mother taught him: 2 What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, or your ways to that which destroys kings.” (Prov. 31:1-3). “Other proverbs warn about the dangers of lust, adultery, and distraction (Proverbs 6:24–25, 32; 23:27; 25:28). In this passage, a mother (Proverbs 30:1–2) provides advice to her son. That begins with a caution about the dangers of inappropriate relationships. The warning given here is not to ‘give [one's] strength to women.’ In this context, that means not making desires or distractions a weakness or expending excessive time and energy pursuing them. This is not an idle threat, by any means. Lemuel’s mother notes that this exact mistake has ruined kingships.” (BibleRef.com on Prov. 31:3).4
Solomon’s lust undermined his walk with God and damaged the entire nation of Israel. One reason to conclude that Solomon was not the author of Proverbs 31 is that he did not follow this advice, and his mother Bathsheba had an adulterous relationship with King David. God blessed Solomon with greater wisdom and wealth than any other person (1 Kgs. 4:29-34; 10:23). Although Solomon initially used his gifts for God, he later misused God’s blessings and committed several deadly sins. First, he took 1,000 wives, including 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kgs. 11:3-4). He violated God’s law that he have only one wife 999 times (Dt. 17:17(a)). More importantly, his many wives, especially his pagan ones, turned his heart against God (1 Kgs. 11:4). Second, because of his foreign wives, Solomon began to worship other gods (1 Kgs. 11:5-6). This violated God’s First Commandment (Ex. 20:2-3; Dt. 5:6-7). Because of his foreign wives, he then built idols and pagan altars for the Jews to worship the pagan gods like Chemosh and Molech (1 Kgs. 11:5-8). This violated God’s Second Commandment (Ex. 20:4-6; Dt. 5:8-10). Third, to become king, Solomon would have taken an oath to obey God’s laws. His failure to follow his oath as the King of Israel blasphemed God’s holy name (Lev. 19:12). This violated God’s Third Commandment (Ex. 20:7; Dt. 5:11). Fourth, by worshipping other gods, he stumbled generations of Jews to do the same. Thus, he dishonored both his father David and God the Father. This violated God’s Fifth Commandment (Ex. 20:12; Dt. 5:16). Fifth, after his lust had pulled him from his walk with God, Solomon tried to kill his servant Jeroboam. He did this in rebellion against God after the prophet Ahijah told Solomon that God would give Jeroboam 10 of the 12 tribes because of Solomon’s rebellions (1 Kgs. 11:40). This violated God’s Sixth Commandment (Ex. 20:13; Dt. 5:17). Sixth, Solomon hoarded both gold and wives out of covetousness. This violated God’s Tenth Commandment (Ex. 20:17; Dt. 5:21). Finally, because Solomon’s heart grew hard, he refused to listen to the prophet Ahijah’s warnings that his sins would lead to the division of Israel (1 Kgs. 11:9-13). If he had repented, God could have forgiven him. Because Solomon misused God’s grace, he misled Israel into division and darkness.
Be led by Spirit. When you obey the Holy Spirit, He gives you the strength to abstain from the evil desires of the flesh. “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.” (Gal. 5:16-18). “for if you are living in accord with the flesh, you are going to die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (Ro. 8:13).
To serve Jesus, be led by the Holy Spirit and not your flesh5
Your walk with Jesus should also be free from drunkenness. Lemuel’s mother also warned against becoming drunk because of the risks of impaired judgment and an inability to properly help the poor. “4 It is not for kings, Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire intoxicating drink, 5 otherwise they will drink and forget what is decreed, and pervert the rights of all the needy. 6 Give intoxicating drink to one who is perishing, and wine to one whose life is bitter. 7 Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his trouble no more.” (Prov. 31:4-7). “Proverbs 31:4-7 delivers a clear message about the dangers of indulging in excessive alcohol consumption. The wisdom here speaks to the negative consequences that can come from losing control of one’s faculties and decision-making abilities due to intoxication. The passage highlights the importance of moderation and self-control in our actions and behaviors by cautioning against drunkenness. Additionally, the verses emphasize the importance of upholding justice and showing compassion towards those in need. They remind us that those in positions of authority have a responsibility to make fair and just decisions, without being swayed by personal biases or influences. The call for compassion reminds us to consider the well-being of others and to offer support and empathy to those who may be suffering or vulnerable.” (Reverend Michael Johnson on Prov. 31:4-7).6
The wise will heed Jesus’ wisdom and avoid the sin of drunkenness. Church leaders are warned to be temperate, self-controlled, and sober (1 Tim. 3:2-3). The Bible does not condemn the drinking of alcohol under all circumstances. But it does condemn those who choose to become drunk from alcohol. “Woe to those who rise early in the morning so that they may pursue intoxicating drink, who stay up late in the evening so that wine may inflame them! Their banquets are accompanied by lyre and harp, by tambourine and flute, and by wine; but they do not pay attention to the deeds of the LORD, nor do they consider the work of His hands.” (Is. 5:11-12). “Woe to him who makes his neighbor drink; to you who mix in your venom even to make your neighbors drunk, so as to look at their genitalia!” (Hab. 2:15). These warnings are repeated in the New Testament. “And do not get drunk with wine, in which there is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,” (Eph. 5:18). “For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of indecent behavior, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties, and wanton idolatries.” (1 Pet. 4:3). “Let’s behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and debauchery, not in strife and jealousy.” (Rom. 13:13; Gal. 5:19-21). “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; … nor those habitually drunk … will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Cor. 6:9-10). Jesus also warns believers to guard their hearts by staying sober. “But be on your guard, so that your hearts will not be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that this day will not come on you suddenly, like a trap;” (Lk. 21:34).
2. Pursuing Justice: To Serve Jesus, Be a Source of His Justice. Prov. 31:8-9.
To walk in Jesus’ wisdom, be an advocate for the rights of the poor and the defenseless. Lemuel’s mother next warned him to never forget his duty to be a source of justice for the poor and others in need. “8 Open your mouth for the people who cannot speak, for the rights of all the unfortunate. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the poor and needy.” (Prov. 31:8-9). “The third exhortation, admonishing the king to judge righteously. Verse 8. - Open thy mouth for the dumb. The ‘dumb’ is anyone who for any reason whatever is unable to plead his own cause; he may be of tender age, or of lowly station, or ignorant, timid, and boorish; and the prince is enjoined to plead for him and defend him (comp. Job 29:15). In the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction; literally, the sons of passing away (Isaiah 2:18); i.e. not orphans, children whose parents have vanished from the earth, nor strangers from a foreign country, nor, generally, mortals, subjects of frail human nature (all of which explanations have been given), but persons who are in imminent danger of perishing, certain, if left unaided, to come to ruin (comp. Job 29:12).” (Pulpit Commentary on Prov. 31:8-9).7
Use your God-given influence to bring justice and hope. Solomon proclaimed that the righteous can bring the people joy while the wicked can bring sorrow (Prov. 28:12; 11:10-11). Jesus fulfilled the prophecy of the Messiah bringing hope and comfort to people in need (Lk. 4:18-19; Is. 61:1-3; Ps. 146:7-9). In whatever circle of influence that God has given you, be a source of His justice, mercy, grace, and hope “He has told you, mortal one, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8). “Learn to do good; seek justice, rebuke the oppressor, obtain justice for the orphan, plead for the widow’s case.” (Is. 1:17; Jam. 1:27; Prov. 31:8-9). You can also pray for leaders (1 Tim. 2:1-2).
To serve Jesus, seek justice for the poor, the oppressed, and others in need8
3. Love: Respond to Jesus’ Love for You by Loving Him, His People, Your Spouse, and Your Family. Prov. 31:10-12.
Jesus loves His bride, and He died on the cross to make her righteous. Through His love for His Church, Jesus died to make believers pure to dwell with Him in heaven forever. “10 An excellent wife, who can find her? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Prov. 31:10-12). English theologian and minister John Gill (1697-1771) argued that the description of the wife in the remainder of this text “cannot agree with any of the daughters of fallen Adam.” Instead, this text likely represents “the church of Christ, who is often represented by a ‘woman’, Isaiah 54:1; … a woman actually married to Christ; a woman fruitful, bringing forth many children to him; a woman beautiful, especially in his eyes, with whom she is the fairest among women; a woman, the weaker vessel, unable to do anything without him, yet everything through him: a ‘virtuous’ one, inviolably chaste in her love and affection to Christ, her husband; steadfast in her adherence, to him by faith, as her Lord and Savior; incorrupt in doctrine, sincere and spiritual in worship, retaining the purity of discipline, and holiness of life; and holding the mystery of faith …” (John Gill on Prov. 31:10-31).9 Another indication of a hidden meaning is that every verse in the description of this wife forms a perfect acrostic pattern. Each verse begins with consecutive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.10
Out of love, Jesus purified His bride the Church11
Have faith in Jesus to remove all sin from His bride. Believers are the beloved bride of Jesus Christ. He has redeemed His bride and clothed her in fine linen. ‘“7 Let’s rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His bride has prepared herself.’ 8 It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. 9 Then he said to me, ‘Write: ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.’...”’ (Rev. 19:7-9a). “And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is among the people, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,”’ (Rev. 21:2-3). Through His death, He removed all your impurities. “4 Take away the impurities from the silver, and there comes out a vessel for the smith; 5 take away the wicked before the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness.” (Prov. 25:4-5).
Out of love for Jesus, be holy. Jesus made you righteous at a terrible price (1 Cor. 6:20). Thus, you are called upon to make your life a living sacrifice for Him (Ro. 12:1). Jesus also wants you to be pure and holy for His use. He wants you to be holy because He is holy (1 Pet. 1:16; Lev. 11:44-5; 19:2; 20:7). Part of being pure and holy includes separating yourself from unclean people and things (Dt. 22:10; 2 Cor. 6:14).
Out of love for Jesus, focus your mind of the things of the Holy Spirit. Staying holy requires Jesus’ ongoing help while we live in fallen bodies. “If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth;” (1 Jo. 1:6). Jesus uses afflictions to remove the impure desires of the flesh the same way impurities are removed from precious metals. “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” (Is. 48:10). “For You have put us to the test, God; You have refined us as silver is refined.” (Ps. 66:10). “And He will sit as a smelter and purifier of silver, and He will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, so that they may present to the LORD offerings in righteousness.” (Mal. 3:3). “And I will bring the third part through the fire, refine them as silver is refined, and test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are My people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is my God.’” (Zech. 13:9). Keep yourselves pure by focusing on the things of the Spirit over the flesh. “For those who are in accord with the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are in accord with the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.” (Ro. 8:5).
Love your spouse, just as Jesus loves His Church. No spouse can meet the criteria of always doing good and “not evil all the days of her life.” (Prov. 31:12b). All have sinned and fallen short both before Jesus and in marriage. “Indeed, there is not a righteous person on earth who always does good and does not ever sin.” (Ecc. 7:20; Ro. 3:10-12; 1 Jo. 1:8). Nevertheless, each spouse should be pure for each other. “You are altogether beautiful, my darling, and there is no blemish on you.” (Song of Sol. 4:7). “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, …” (Prov. 12:4a; Ecc. 9:9). Each spouse should also love each other the same way that Jesus loves His Church. “Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them.” (Col. 3:19). “Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:4-7).
Just as Jesus loved when you were His enemy, love your enemies. Before you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you were an enemy of God (Ro. 5:10; Col. 1:21-22). Out of love, Jesus died so that all who were enemies of God could find eternal life (Jo. 3:16). In response, He also wants you to love your enemies. ‘“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”’ (Matt. 5:43-44; Lk. 6:27-28; Ro. 12:20-21).
4. Submission: To Serve Jesus, Submit Your Own Will to Serve Him, His People, Your Spouse, and Your Family. Prov. 31:13-18.
Jesus’ bride should labor out of love for her groom. Just as Jesus labors for His bride, each person should diligently labor out of devotion for Jesus and his or her family. “13 She looks for wool and linen, and works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar. 15 And she rises while it is still night and gives food to her household, and portions to her attendants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. “17 She surrounds her waist with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her profit is good; her lamp does not go out at night.” (Prov. 31:13-18). “She seeks wool and flax: Using wonderful poetic images, King Lemuel’s mother described not the résumé of a godly woman, but life-like examples of the busy, hard-working, and creative character of the virtuous wife. … She seeks wool and flax: The virtuous woman knows how to seek and find things that are necessary resources for her family and home. Willingly works with her hands: The virtuous wife is not proud or haughty and does not think that working with her hands is beneath her… She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar: The virtuous wife provides food for her family and home after the pattern of a merchant ship, which operates with regularity and effort. If required, she even rises while it is yet night to either get or prepare food for her household …And a portion for her maidservants: … The virtuous wife wisely manages and cares for such maidservants, showing her compassion and care even beyond her immediate family… She considers a field and buys it: … She thoughtfully (considers) invests and uses the profits to better her family and their future, in this case by planting a vineyard… She girds herself with strength: … She uses her strength for productive purposes … She perceives that her merchandise is good: She is wise and experienced enough to get good materials and merchandise for her home. Her wisdom teaches her to buy oil for her lamp, of such quality that it burns through the night and does not go out … She stretches out her hands to the distaff: The virtuous wife knows how to use the tools and technology available to manage the home well. The distaff is a stick or spindle onto which wool or flax is wound for spinning, and she uses both hands to do the work well.” (David Guzik on Prov. 31:13-18).12
Submit to Jesus and use your talents out of loving devotion to serve Jesus. Jesus has provided for His bride, the Church, every good and perfect thing (Jam. 1:17). He also completed the work at the cross to redeem His bride with His blood (Heb. 2:17; Rom. 3:25; 1 Jo. 2:2). Out of love, each person should desire to be a “living sacrifice” for Him (Ro. 12:1). Submitting your own will and serving Him should be your greatest love. “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold everything that he had and bought it.” (Matt. 13:45-46; 6:19-21; Lk. 14:33; Phil. 3:7-8). If you submit and labor for Jesus out of love, He offers true satisfaction. “Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps. 37:4). But He will discipline or condemn those who fail to respond to His love by serving Him out of gratitude with His talents. “But his master answered and said to him, ‘You worthless, lazy slave! Did you know that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter seed?” (Matt. 25:26, 29-30).
Out of love, each spouse should submit to the other. Jesus submitted His life on the cross for His bride. Spouses should respond by first submitting to Jesus and then to each other. “Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Eph. 5:22, 25).
Out of love, submit to Jesus and the needs of your spouse and your family13
Labor out of love for your spouse and family. In addition to serving Jesus, each spouse should labor diligently to keep the family out of poverty. “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” (Prov. 14:1; 24:3-4, 27). “Poor is one who works with a lazy hand, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.” (Prov. 10:4). “One who works his land will have plenty of bread, but one who pursues worthless things lacks sense.” (Prov. 12:11). “The soul of the lazy one craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made prosperous.” (Prov. 13:4; 19:15; 21:25; Ecc. 10:18).
5. Compassionate Charity: To Serve Jesus, Show Compassionate Charity Toward the Poor and Others in Need. Prov. 31:19-22.
With the first fruits of your diligent labor, give to the poor, and Jesus will bless you. Part of serving Jesus as the King of Kings and groom to the Church includes serving His people by generously giving to the poor with the first fruits of your labor. When you do this in faith, Jesus will bless you and provide for your needs. “19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.” (Prov. 31:19-22). “Verse 19 functions as a seam uniting the two sections of the body … Whereas the king opens his mouth to defend their interests in court (31:8-9), the valiant wife opens her hands to meet their physical needs. Her palms she spreads out to the poor means either that she invites them home by gesturing to them or that she hands them material aid (22:9). And she holds out her hands to the needy, who live hand to mouth, parallels the first line in meaning … 22 Coverlets she makes for herself…this is the only mention of the competent wife looking after herself and is important because it shows that she does not neglect herself even while helping others.” (Bruce Waltke and Ivan De Silva, Prov. 31:19-22).14
Show your love for Jesus by serving the poor or others in need15
The fruit of your salvation should include compassion for the needy. The bride of Christ should show Jesus’ love for people in need. “7 The righteous is concerned for the rights of the poor; the wicked does not understand such concern.” (Prov. 29:7). “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” (Jam. 1:27). Without a love for the poor, a person’s faith may be “dead”. “If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,’ yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? In the same way, faith also, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.” (Jam. 2:15-17). Failing to help the poor is also a sin directly against Jesus. “For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.” (Matt. 25:35-36; 1 Jo. 3:17-18).
Jesus will provide for your needs when you provide for His people. Just as Jesus provided for the virtuous wife in this account, He will also provide for your needs (not your wants) when you help others in need with the right motives. “One who is gracious to a poor person lends to the LORD, and He will repay him for his good deed.” (Prov. 19:17). “One who gives to the poor will never lack anything, but one who shuts his eyes will have many curses.” (Prov. 28:27). “Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.” (Lk. 6:38). ‘“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and put Me to the test now in this,’ says the LORD of armies, ‘if I do not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.”’ (Mal. 3:10).
Honor Jesus with the first fruits of your labor, and He will provide for you16
6. Honoring Jesus: To Serve Jesus, Honor Him, His People, Your Spouse, and Your Parents. Prov. 31:23-29.
Let your life honor Jesus. Jesus should also be honored through your integrity, service, and your witness. “23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Prov. 31:23-26). “The husband of noble character is known in the gates (v 23). The implication here is that the excellent wife aids in the nobility of her husband ... she makes linen garments and sells them (v 24) … the excellent wife is working diligently to add value to the house and home. She is doing it in partnership and with the full trust of her husband … strength and dignity are her clothing (v 25) … The excellent wife wears these as her clothing. She adorns herself with what is good, helpful, and in the best interest of herself and those around her .. and she smiles at the future (v 25) … The excellent wife is not afraid of the future. She is hopeful, optimistic … All of this noble character leaks out of the excellent wife. She opens her mouth and wisdom spouts out of it (v 26) … She is also wise and articulate, able to communicate goodness. It is natural for her to do so (wisdom is right on the tip of her tongue) because she is overflowing with internal righteousness.” (The BibleSays.com on Prov. 31:23-26).17
Honor Jesus by living with integrity to reflect His light to the lost. Believers are also called upon to honor Jesus (Jo. 5:23; 1 Pet. 3:15; Rev. 5:13). He is the light of the world (Jo. 8:12). But He calls upon His bride to honor Him by reflecting His light to the lost. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” (Matt. 5:14-16). When you live with integrity, you reflect His true light. “for we have regard for what is honorable, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of other people.” (2 Cor. 8:21; Phil. 4:8). Also, just as the virtuous woman “smiles at the future” and “opens her mouth in wisdom” (Prov. 31:25-25), you can let others know the “hope” that lies within you (1 Pet. 3:15). You can further speak the wisdom of His gospel to the lost (Matt. 28:16-20).
Serve Jesus by being His light to the lost18
Honor your spouse with integrity and by encouraging and supporting your spouse. When a husband and wife are joined together, they become one flesh (Gen. 2:20-24). Thus, each spouse should bring honor to the other. “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.” (Heb. 13:4; Ex. 20:14). But spouses are also meant to encourage and bring hope to one another. “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you also are doing.” (1 Thess. 5:11; Heb. 3:13). Spouses should also carry the burdens of the other. “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2). This includes submitting your needs to support the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the family. “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Tim. 5:8). This also includes a call “to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:5).
Honor Jesus by raising God-fearing children, and honor your parents as they serve Jesus. Jesus also wants you to faithfully watch over your family and teach your children to have faith and obey Him. Children should in turn honor and obey their parents. “27 She watches over the activities of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29 ‘Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.”’ (Prov. 31:27-29). “This woman is not merely a passive figure; she actively engages with her family’s needs, ensuring that they are cared for and their environment is conducive to growth and harmony. The latter part of the verse, ‘does not eat the bread of idleness,’ emphasizes the importance of hard work and diligence …The virtuous woman becomes a role model for all, illustrating that through dedication and hard work, one can create a nurturing and supportive environment.” (Bibleverseexplain.com on Prov. 31:27).19 Verse 28 “challenges us to not only recognize the efforts of mothers but also to express our gratitude actively.”20 In verse 29, “The ‘woman who surpasses them all’ is not merely defined by her accomplishments but by her wisdom, kindness, and faithfulness.”21
Honor Jesus by helping to develop the next generation of believers. Israel was God’s “kingdom of priests” (Exod. 19:6). This meant that every person had a role in sharing God’s wisdom. Because no schools existed in Old Testament times, instruction regarding wisdom began within the families. Moses commanded parents to teach their children the Ten Commandments and the interpretive rules in the home (Dt. 6:7-9). In Proverbs, children are urged to follow the godly instruction of their parents (Prov. 1:8-9; 6:20: 10:1). This also means that God meant for families to study the Word together.
Honor Jesus by honoring God-fearing parents. A child’s obedience to godly family instruction is so important to God that it is the first of His Ten Commandments that relate to how humans interact with each other. “Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged on the land which the LORD your God gives you.” (Ex. 20:12; Dt. 5:16; Lev. 19:3). This wisdom principle is also repeated throughout the New Testament as well. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.” (Col. 3:20; Eph. 6:1-3; Matt. 15:4; 19:19). Solomon’s actual proverbs began by urging all children to honor their parents (Prov. 10:1). Thus, it is fitting that the book of Proverbs should conclude by repeating a call to obey Jesus’ Fifth Commandment.
7. Fearing Jesus: If Your Service for Jesus Includes Hating and Avoiding Evil, He Will Honor You. Prov. 31:30-31.
Fear Jesus by hating evil, and He will honor you. The fear of the Lord is defined as hating evil (Prov. 8:13). Believers who honor Jesus by hating evil will receive His praise in heaven. “30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.” (Prov. 31:30-31). “Proverbs 31:28-30 is about recognizing and praising the worth, wisdom, and virtuous character of a woman who fears the Lord, emphasizing that external beauty is transient, but a woman who embodies Godly traits is to be honored above all.” (Reverend Michael Johnson on Prov. 31:30-31).22
Fear Jesus by Hating Evil, and He Will Honor You23
Praise Jesus for your God-fearing spouse. A God-fearing spouse is a gift from God. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” (Prov. 18:22). “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” (Prov. 19:14). Thus, if you have a God-fearing spouse, praise Jesus. If your spouse is not walking with Jesus, pray for Jesus to transform your spouse’s heart. If you are looking for a spouse, pray for Jesus’ wisdom, discernment, and His grace.
Honor your spouse as they honor Jesus. In addition to giving thanks to Jesus for your spouse, you should also show gratitude to your spouse in serving Jesus. “What a need there is today for husbands and children to show constantly their appreciation for what the wife and mother does in the home. One of the greatest weaknesses in many homes today is that family members take each other for granted. Husbands need to set the right example before their children by openly praising the Lord and their wife for the blessings of the home. How often a dedicated wife sacrifices for the happiness of the home and never receives so much as a simple ‘THANKS.’ What a sin is the lack of appreciation is in our homes! This kind of appreciation must not be reserved for ‘Mother’s Day’ or Christmas; rather, it must be shown sincerely all year long.” (Ronald Young, Prov. 31).24
Jesus will reward your heart for Him. Jesus cares about your heart, not your outward appearance. “Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way the holy women of former times, who hoped in God, also used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands,” (1 Pet. 3:3-5). You please Him and honor Him by fearing Him and hating evil. “The LORD favors those who fear Him, those who wait for His faithfulness.” (Ps. 147:11). He will honor you as His bride in heaven for all your service on Earth. “For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, by having served and by still serving the saints.” (Heb. 6:10). The fear of the Lord is the central theme of Proverbs (Prov. 1:7; 2:5; 9:10). It is therefore appropriate for it to end with this calling.
Honor Jesus, and He will honor you25
Strong's Hebrew: 3927. לְמוֹאֵל (Lemuel or Lemoel) -- Lemuel↩︎
E.g., David Reagan, King Lemuel | Learn The Bible | LearnTheBible.org; and J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible, Commentary Series, Proverbs (Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville TN 1991), pgs. 253.↩︎
Tony Maalouf, Arabs in the Shadow of Israel: The Unfolding of God's Prophetic Plan for ... - Tony Maalouf - Google Books; (Thomas Thomason Perowne, Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges, Prov. 31:1); Proverbs 31 Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges;↩︎
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Image credit: Micah 6:8 (KJV) - He hath shewed thee, O man, what is | YouVersion↩︎
Image credit: Proverbs 31:10 CEV1995 - A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find!↩︎
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B. Waltke and I. De Silva, Proverbs, A Shorter Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2021), p. 434-436 (italics in original).↩︎
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Proverbs 31:27 - Meaning, Context, and Spiritual Reflection↩︎
Proverbs 31:28 - Meaning, Context, and Spiritual Reflection↩︎
Proverbs 31:29 - Meaning, Context, and Spiritual Reflection↩︎
Image credit: Proverbs 31 - Etsy↩︎
R. Young, Proverbs, A Commentary on the Book of Proverbs (SureWord Publications, Baltimore, MD, 2005), p. 411.↩︎
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