Proverbs 5: Lessons on the Dangers of Temptation and Adultery
Introduction: Solomon had previously extolled the virtues of Yahweh’s wisdom. Here, based upon his father David’s adultery with Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11), Solomon warned about how sexual temptation and adultery could threaten his children’s walk with God. God’s prohibition against adultery is so important that it is His Seventh Commandment (Ex. 20:14; Dt. 5:18). Jesus later both affirmed and broadened the prohibition against adultery (Matt. 5:28). Through Solomon’s exhortation, believers are warned to guard their hearts. Failing to do so leads to: (1) temptation, (2) sorrow, (3) torment, (4) regret, (5) discontentment, (6) spiritual blindness, and (7) bondage.
First, Solomon warned that a person seeking to commit adultery will frequently entice the victim with smooth, seductive talk. To resist this type of sexual temptation, you must guard your heart. Second, Solomon warned that the person who gives into sexual temptation and adultery will experience sorrow. To avoid this pain and sorrow, you must again guard your heart. Third, Solomon further warned that the person who gives into sexual temptation and adultery will also experience different types of torment. To avoid this torment, you must again guard your heart. Fourth, Solomon also counseled that the person who gives into sexual temptation and adultery will experience regret. To avoid this regret, you must again guard your heart. Sixth, Solomon warns that no sin escapes God’s sight. If you fail to guard your heart against sexual temptation and adultery, you may also become spiritually blind to your sins against God and your spouse. Finally, Solomon warned that the person who gives into sexual temptation and adultery will frequently be placed into the bondage of sin. To avoid being placed into spiritual bondage from sexual sins including adultery, you must again guard your heart and resist the devil’s temptation.
1. Temptation: Guard Your Heart to Resist Sexual Temptation. Prov. 5:1-3.
Be alert to the sins of sexual temptation. After extolling the virtues of following Yahweh’s wisdom, Solomon warned his son, possibly Rehoboam, about one of the greatest threats to maintaining a walk with Yahweh. Sexual temptation threatened his heart. “1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding, 2 so that you may maintain discretion and your lips may comply with knowledge. 3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil;” (Prov. 5:1-3). “Solomon cautions all young men, as his children, to abstain from fleshly lusts. Some, by the adulterous woman, here understand idolatry, false doctrine, which tends to lead astray men's minds and manners; but the direct view is to warn against seventh-commandment sins. Often these have been, and still are, Satan’s method of drawing men from the worship of God into false religion.” (Matthew Henry Prov. 5).1
Listen to and follow Spirit-led counsel. Solomon began his address with a command for his son to pay attention to his wisdom (Prov. 5:1). He began many of his other addresses with similar commands (Prov. 1:8; 3:1; 4:10; 6:20-23; 8:32-33; 19:20; 22:17-19; 23:19-22). In addition to godly counsel, Jesus’ Word and the Spirit will guide you with true wisdom and give you discernment when you study the Word and pray (Jam. 1:5).
Be wary of the false allure of worldly sexual temptation. Solomon warned that “the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil;” (Prov. 5:3). He gave a similar warning in a prior address: “To rescue you from the strange woman, from the foreign woman who flatters with her words, who leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God;” (Prov. 2:16-17). He would repeat his warning in his future addresses for emphasis. “To keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the foreign woman. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids.” (Prov. 6:24-25). “With her many persuasions she entices him; with her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as one walks in ankle bracelets to the discipline of a fool,” (Prov. 7:21-22). Solomon also gave into sexual temptation. “And I discovered as more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are chains. One who is pleasing to God will escape from her, but the sinner will be captured by her.” (Ecc. 7:26).
Temptation can turn your heart from Jesus. God gave Solomon greater wisdom than any other person. But he failed to guard his heart and hate evil (Prov. 8:13). This led to him giving into temptation. His heart then turned away from God. “Now King Solomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations of which the LORD had said to the sons of Israel, ‘You shall not associate with them, nor shall they associate with you; they will certainly turn your heart away to follow their gods.’ Solomon clung to these in love. He had seven hundred wives, who were princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned his heart away. For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away to follow other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of his father David had been.” (1 Kgs. 11:1-4).
Delilah seduced Samson with her words and beauty to help the Philistines destroy him2
Seductive looks frequently precede seductive speech. Solomon warned about “speech [that] is smoother than oil;” (Prov. 5:3). As an example of this, Potiphar’s wife tempted Joseph “day after day.” (Gen. 39:10). Delilah also enticed Samson with her words. “After this it came about that he was in love with a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. So the governors of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, ‘Entice him, and see where his great strength lies ...”’ (Jdgs. 16:4-5). It is important, however, to remember that seductive stares frequently precede seductive speech. At a time when David was in the wrong place at the wrong time, he lusted after his neighbor Uriah’s wife Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11:1-2). After lusting after Bathsheba, David invited her to his house, seduced her with his word, and then he slept with her (2 Sam. 11:3-5). Like David, Eve ate from the forbidden fruit only after staring at its beauty (Gen. 3:6). Satan then seduced Eve with his words. He uses the lusts of the eyes and seductive speech to entice people to engage in sexual sins and adultery: “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.” (1 Jo. 2:16). These warnings apply to both men and women.
David’s adultery began when he secretly lusted for his neighbor’s wife from his roof3
David’s long history of indulging the desires of his flesh. David’s weakness for women was not something that happened by accident on his roof. Instead, as his power grew, he fed his lusts of the flesh. Before arriving in Hebron, David had two wives (one too many) (1 Sam. 25:42-3). During his seven-year reign in Hebron, he took four additional wives (2 Sam. 3:2-5). David then forced Abner to kidnap his former wife Michal and make her his seventh wife (2 Sam. 3:12-16). Because Michal was married at the time, he engaged in adultery when he took her as his seventh wife. When he became king, David expanded his number of wives and concubines further (2 Sam. 5:13). David could not satisfy his lusts by giving into them. Instead, the more he gave into temptation, the more his desires grew: “Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied.” (Prov. 27:20). Are you giving into your temptations?
Jesus came to raise the standards for sexual purity. Jesus did not come to repeal the laws against sexual immorality. Instead, He raised the bar on the type of conduct that He expects from believers. “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.” (Heb. 13:4). For the unsaved, the penalty for adultery is exclusion from heaven (Rev. 21:8; 22:15). If you are engaged in sexual immorality, you also risk removing God’s blessings and protection from your marriage. You may also bring a curse upon your children through family conflict and divorce. Adultery can also teach children that there is little value in a covenant, commitment, selfless love, and God’s Law. Yet, while exhorting us to even higher standards of moral conduct, Jesus also used the example of the woman caught in adultery to urge believers to not judge or condemn others who have sinned (Jo. 8:7). If someone has repented, don’t use that person’s old sins to condemn them.
Temptation is a greater risk during times of prosperity and comfort. David was at his best when he was threatened and forced to cling closely to God. By contrast, David’s greatest failures of his faith came during his times of success. This also seemed to apply to Solomon. During their times of success, both men felt entitled to gratify the desires of their flesh and take more wives or concubines. This temptation is also not limited to men. Potiphar’s wife felt great power in her household. Joseph’s resistance made her long for him even more. Because her heart was evil, she (like Eve) longed for the one thing in her house that she could not have (Gen. 39:10-13). Satan will exploit any opening that you give him. If you let your guard down when times are good, Satan will entrap you. Do you allow success or times of plenty to cause you to drop your guard?
Make no provisions for the flesh. Paul warns believers not to embrace the things of the flesh as you may have done before you came to know Jesus: “Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.” (Eph. 2:3). “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” (Gal. 5:16). “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.” (Ro. 13:14). “Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.” (1 Pet. 2:11). “Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.” (Ro. 12:1). Is your body a living sacrifice for Jesus?
Put on the armor of God to resist temptation. Unlike David and Solomon, believers should put on the armor of God to resist temptation: “The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.” (Ro. 13:12). “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.” (Eph. 6:11). “Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,” (Eph. 6:13-14; Is. 59:17; 1 Thess. 5:8). Jesus has also left you with His Word as a sword against the devil. “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Heb. 4:12). Are you using each part of God’s armor against the devil?
Make a covenant with your eyes, ears, and mouth. If you fill your eyes, your ears, and your mouth with evil, you will soon act upon it: “The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” (Matt. 6:22-23). If unchecked, lust can overwhelm your decisions. “Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them.” (Ro. 1:24). To avoid temptation and adultery, every believer should make a covenant to avoid staring at people or things that may cause you to stumble: “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?” (Job 31:1). The first look is not the sin. It is the second look or the staring that is sinful. Entertaining or engaging in seductive conversations outside of marriage is also sinful.
2. Sorrow: Guard Your Heart or You Will Experience Sorrow. Prov. 5:4-6.
Submitting to sexual temptation leads to sorrow. Even though sexual temptation can at first seem fun and alluring, it frequently leads to suffering. “4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol. 6 She does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it.” (Prov. 5:4-6). “The contrast is drawn with great vividness between the professions of the ‘strange woman’ and the disastrous consequences which overtake those who listen to her enticements. She promises enjoyment, pleasure, freedom from danger, but her end is bitter as wormwood.” (Pulpit Commentary on Prov. 5:4).4
Giving into sexual temptation leads to sorrow. Solomon referred to the sorrows of giving into temptation as being like “wormwood” (Prov. 5:4). This was a bitter herb that was always used to convey suffering (e.g., Lam. 3:15; Jer. 9:15; 23:15; Rev. 8:11). Satan’s goal is to destroy anyone who submits to him. “And I discovered as more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are chains. One who is pleasing to God will escape from her, but the sinner will be captured by her.” (Ecc. 7:26). “For many are the victims she has brought to ruin, and numerous are all those slaughtered by her.” (Prov. 7:26). “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” (Jam. 1:14-15). “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.” (Matt. 15:19).
Without repentance, the suffering from adultery leads to eternal death. In reference to adultery, Solomon warned, “5 Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol.” (Prov. 5:5). “Her house is the way to Sheol, descending to the chambers of death.” (Prov. 7:27). “But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol.” (Prov. 9:18). For those who fail to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and repent of their sexual sins, the penalty for their sins is eternal death: ‘Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,”’ (1 Cor. 6:9). “But for the cowardly, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and sexually immoral persons, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” (Rev. 21:8).
David’s actions constituted adultery under any definition. Solomon warned that adulterers fail to consider the consequences of their actions. Or, they delude themselves into thinking that they will escape any type of sorrow. “6 She does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it.” (Prov. 5:6). Before sleeping with his wife, David referred to Uriah as “the Hittite.” (2 Sam. 11:3). This might have been David’s attempt to rationalize his actions. He might have deluded himself into thinking that the Ten Commandments were God’s Covenant with the Jews, not the gentiles. He might have reasoned that God promised the land of the Hittites to Abraham (Gen. 15:18-21). He might have also remembered that Moses commanded the Jews to destroy the Hittites (Dt. 20:17). The Hittites also fought against the Jews as they tried to reclaim the Promised Land (Nu. 13:29; Josh. 9:1; 11:1-5). Uriah, however, forsook his people and their gods to serve Yahweh. He then married a Jew and fought for David. Even under the narrowest possible definition of adultery, David slept with his literal neighbor’s wife: “You shall not have intercourse with your neighbor’s wife, to be defiled with her.” (Lev. 18:20). As God’s appointed King, David was meant to show God’s righteousness. Instead, he dishonored God and showed the gentile to be more righteous than the Jew.
David’s many crimes carried multiple death sentences. The punishment for David’s adultery was death: “If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, the one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” (Lev. 20:10). “If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.” (Dt. 22:22). The punishment for David’s murder of Uriah was also death: “Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man his blood shall be shed, for in the image of God He made man.” (Gen 9:6). “He who strikes a man so that he dies shall surely be put to death.” (Ex. 21:12). “If a man takes the life of any human being, he shall surely be put to death.” (Lev. 24:17). “If anyone kills a person, the murderer shall be put to death . . . .” (Nu. 35:30). Nathan also accused David of “despising” God’s Word (2 Sam. 12:9). His actions blasphemed God’s holy name: “Therefore, son of man, speak to the house of Israel and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD, ‘Yet in this your fathers have blasphemed Me by acting treacherously against Me.’’” (Ezek. 20:27). “For ‘the name of God is blasphemed among the gentiles because of you,’ just as it is written.” (Ro. 2:24). For someone who blasphemed God’s name through his conduct as David did, the penalty for this was also death: “Because he has despised the word of the LORD and has broken His commandment, that person shall be completely cut off; his guilt will be on him.” (Nu. 15:31). David could not appreciate his need for God’s mercy and grace until he recognized the penalty for his sins.
Even lusting after a married person is an act of adultery. David engaged in adultery merely by lusting after his neighbor’s wife: “but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5:28). If you are looking at pornography, your sins are just as bad in Jesus’ eyes.
David’s adultery was an abuse of his God-given authority. Many male commentators try to assign partial blame to Bathsheba because there is no record that she struggled or resisted David. Others suggest that she failed to cover herself while bathing on her roof. But the prophet Nathan later limited God’s divine judgment to David. He depicted both Bathsheba and Uriah as the victims (2 Sam. 12:1-12). David was the King of Israel with nearly unlimited power. Bathsheba had no authority to rebuff the advances of her king. She also could not prevent the king with his higher roof from looking down on her. Centuries earlier and on a far smaller scale, Joseph explained to Potiphar’s wife that it would have been a sin against God to take the one thing that his master had withheld from him: “There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?” (Gen. 39:9). If you have been entrusted with power, don’t misuse that power by engaging in sexual harassment or using your power to pressure subordinates to date you. Instead, unlike David and Solomon, be a holy example to others.
David misused his authority to summon Bathsheba and then seduce her5
3. Torment: Guard Your Heart or You Will Experience Torment. Prov. 5:7-11.
Those who submit to sexual temptation and failed to repent will experience torment. Solomon then turned to all his children and warned them based upon their grandfather King David’s experience that failing to quickly repent of sexual sins, especially adultery, leads to terrible torment. “7 Now then, my sons, listen to me and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. 8 Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, 9 otherwise you will give your vigor to others, and your years to the cruel one; 10 and strangers will be filled with your strength, and your hard-earned possessions will go to the house of a foreigner; 11 and you will groan in the end, when your flesh and your body are consumed;” (Prov. 5:7-11). “Lest you give your honor to others: Solomon will describe many things that are lost through sexual immorality, and he began with honor. There is a valid sense of honor that the one who stays pure can have. …And your years to the cruel one: Adultery and sexual immorality ruin lives. God’s command that our sexual relationships remain only in the covenant of marriage was not given to take away from our life and enjoyment, but to add to it. Lest aliens be filled with your wealth: In the modern world, many men know what it is like to lose their wealth because of adultery … When your flesh and body are consumed: Sexual immorality leads to disease and breakdown of health. Even the stress of living a double, deceptive life is enough to take away one’s health.” (David Guzik on Prov. 5:9-11).6
David was tormented because his adultery, deceit, and murder7
God prepared David for repentance with poor health. Among other things, Solomon warned that an adulterer will suffer lost “vigor” (Prov. 5:9). Before Nathan confronted David, God softened David’s heart for repentance by plaguing him with poor health: “When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah.” (Ps. 32:3-4). Poor health can have many causes. Sometimes, people who are mostly blameless in their walk can suffer terrible afflictions. But if you have hidden sins and your health is suffering from the weight of your sins, repent and Jesus can heal you (Is. 53:5). Don’t let unrepentant sin destroy your health.
David’s son also bore the consequences of David’s sins. Even though God spared David’s life, Nathan warned that David’s son would still die because of his sins, and there was nothing David was able to do to stop it (2 Sam. 12:14-23). Normally, God will not allow a son to die because of a father’s sins: “Fathers shall not be put to death for their sons, nor shall sons be put to death for their fathers; everyone shall be put to death for his own sin.” (Dt. 24:16; Ezek. 18:20). But David named the fourfold penalty to Nathan (2 Sam. 12:6). This would be the first of four children that he would lose to sin.
A person reaps what they sow. God warned David that He would “raise up evil against you from your own household” (2 Sam. 12:11). Through family conflict, David would reap what he had sown: “For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and will then repay every man according to his deeds.” (Matt. 16:27). “Who will render to each person according to his deeds” (Ro. 2:6). “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Gal. 6:7-8). “According to what I have seen, those who plow iniquity And those who sow trouble harvest it.” (Job 4:8). “For they sow the wind and they reap the whirlwind. The standing grain has no heads; it yields no grain. Should it yield, strangers would swallow it up.” (Hos. 8:7). “He who sows iniquity will reap vanity, and the rod of his fury will perish.” (Prov. 22:8). Are you laying seeds in your life that will result in family sorrow or the joy of the Lord?
Adultery is a sin that brings misery to the entire family. Like David, an adulterer brings pain and sorrow to his entire family. “He who returns evil for good, evil will not depart from his house.” (Prov. 17:13). Adultery frequently leads to distrust, resentment, hatred, and divorce. It impacts both the parents and the children. It can lead a family to financial ruin and both parents and children to different forms of addiction. If you have started down a path that may lead to adultery, stop, and repent for the sake of your family.
Avoid places or people where temptation can arise. Solomon warned “Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house,” (Prov. 5:8). “The command keep your (singular) way far from her states the whole lesson in a nutshell (cf. Matt. 5:28-29; 2 Tim. 2:22).” (Bruce Waltke and Ivan De Silva on Proverbs 5:8).8 Believers must remove themselves from sinful environments. “If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell.” (Matt. 18:9; Mk. 9:47). David had a choice to avoid his rooftop if he knew that he could see naked women bathing on their roofs. By contrast, Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Joseph at work (Gen. 39:11). Joseph had no choice in where he worked. Outside of marriage or a required work setting, it is never wise to be alone with a person of the opposite sex. Are you taking steps to protect your heart?
Flee temptation. David invited temptation into his home. By contrast, Joseph fled from it: “She caught him by his garment, saying, ‘Lie with me!’ And he left his garment in her hand and fled, and went outside.” (Gen. 39:12). You also are commanded to “flee” temptation: “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.” (1 Cor. 6:8; 2 Tim. 2:22). “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;” (1 Thess. 4:3). Because of Adam and Eve’s sin, your desires are distorted (Gen. 3:15-16; Rom. 8:20). God knows that you are destined for bondage if you try to reason with temptation. Before God gave the Ten Commandments, He declared: “I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the Land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” (Ex. 20:2). His rules are meant to protect you from bondage. Through Jesus’ death, your body was bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:19-20). You are now His servant (Lev. 25:55). You were once a slave to sin. Now, be a slave to righteousness (Ro. 6:17-18). Are you “fleeing” temptation? (2 Tim. 2:22). Or, like David, are you returning to your bondage?
Rebuke the devil, and he will flee. God does not want you to engage with the devil. Instead, He has given you a tool that was not available to David. He has given you the power to resist Satan and drive him away by rebuking him in faith in Jesus’ name. Jesus’ name is so powerful that the mere use of His name by the archangel Michael was able to drive Satan away: “But Michael the archangel, when he disputed with the devil and argued about the body of Moses, did not dare pronounce against him a railing judgment, but said, ‘The Lord rebuke you!”’ (Jude 1:9). The Apostle James also admonished: “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (Jam. 4:7). Likewise, Peter also admonished: “But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.” (1 Pet. 5:9). Have you rebuked Satan’s attacks in Jesus’ name? Or, like David and Solomon, have you invited them through your actions?
Repent of your sins. God spared David only because he repented (2 Sam. 12:13). To be saved, you must also repent to Jesus. In preparation for Jesus, John the Baptist called all sinners to repent. ‘“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”’ (Matt. 3:2). Jesus also began His ministry with a call to repentance: “From that time Jesus began to preach and say, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”’ (Matt. 4:17). “But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!”’ (Lk. 18:13.) If you say that you are without sin the truth is not in you (1 Jo. 1:8). Yet, if you confess your sins, Jesus will forgive you: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 Jo. 1:9). Have you repented of your sins? If you have not repented, you are forcing God to discipline you.
By repenting, God spared Solomon from the curse he could have received. If God had not forgiven David, Solomon would have also been cursed under the law: “Cursed shall be the offspring of your body and the produce of your ground, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock.” (Dt. 28:15, 18). This shows that God’s forgiveness is complete. If he has forgiven you, don’t allow Satan to continue to condemn you.
4. Regret: Guard Your Heart or You Will Experience Regret. Prov. 5:12-14.
Those who reject Jesus’ wisdom will also suffer regret. Solomon further warned his children that they would regret their decisions if they failed to heed his warnings and embraced adultery. “12 And you say, ‘How I hated instruction! And my heart disdainfully rejected rebuke! 13 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers, nor incline my ear to my instructors! 14 I was almost in total ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation.’” (Prov. 5:12-14). “More bitter than slavery, poverty, disease, will be the bitterness of self-reproach, the hopeless remorse that worketh death.” (Albert Barnes on Prov. 5:12).9
Samuel confronts David for his adultery and murder, and David is filled with regret10
David lived to regret his serious sins. David carried great shame and regret because the child that he had through adultery with Bathsheba died after childbirth (2 Sam. 12:14-23). David again carried great shame and regret when his son Amnon raped his daughter Tamar (2 Sam. 13:8-14). David was too compromised by his own sins and regret to discipline Amnon. This brought outrage to Absalom (2 Sam. 13:19-27). Absalom then murdered Amnon to avenge Tamar for Ammon’s rape (2 Sam. 13:28-29). David was again filled with too much shame and regret to discipline Absalom. Solomon revealed the consequences of David’s sins to his reputation. “ I was almost in total ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation.’” (Prov. 5:14). David lived in regret as his trusted advisor Ahithophel turned against him and led others to join in Absalom’s coup d'etat against him (2 Sam. 15:31). David was then filled with regret when Absalom died during his failed rebellion (2 Sam. 18:33). Satan shows you the thrill but never the bill.
Solomon also regretted his many sins. Solomon also knew firsthand the consequences of failing to heed God’s Word. He later regretted how he allowed his lusts to control him and take 1,000 wives or concubines. This in turn caused his heart to turn from God. “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years approach when you will say, ‘I have no pleasure in them’;” (Ecc. 12:1). Paul also warns believers, “Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death.” (Ro. 6:21).
God disciplines sinners out of love to restore their walk with Him. Solomon warned his sons that they would regret their decisions if they ignored his God-given warnings (Prov. 5:12). Solomon advised his children that Yahweh disciplines out of love the same way a parent disciplines a child. “My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD or loathe His rebuke, for whom the LORD loves He disciplines, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights.” (Prov. 3:11-12). “One who loves discipline loves knowledge, but one who hates rebuke is stupid.” (Prov. 12:1). “A fool rejects his father’s discipline, but he who complies with rebuke is sensible … One whose ear listens to a life-giving rebuke will stay among the wise.” (Prov. 15:5, 31). “Listen to advice and accept discipline, so that you may be wise the rest of your days.” (Prov. 19:20). “A person often rebuked who becomes obstinate will suddenly be broken beyond remedy.” (Prov. 29:1).
Those who ignore Jesus’ warnings will watch in regret as their family is washed away. In the Bible, a house can be both a physical structure and a family line. Jesus warned that those who ignore the wisdom of His Word and embrace sexual sins like adultery may watch in horror and regret as their families are washed away. ‘“And everyone who hears these words of Mine, and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and its collapse was great.”’ (Matt. 7:26-27).
5. Discontentment: Guard Your Heart to Avoid Being Discontent. Prov. 5:15-20.
Those who reject Jesus’ wisdom will become discontent with Jesus’ provision. Solomon urged his children to find delight in their God-given spouse. Failing to be content with God’s provision would only invite further temptation and additional forbidden sexual relations. “15 Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well. 16 Should your springs overflow into the street, streams of water in the public squares? 17 Let them be yours alone, and not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 Like a loving doe and a graceful mountain goat, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love. 20 For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress, and embrace the breasts of a foreigner?” (Prov. 5:15-20). “In these verses Solomon urges his disciples to follow after purity in the married life; he pictures in vivid terms the delights which it affords as compared with the pleasures of sin.” (Charles Ellicott on Prov. 5:15-20).11
Find contentment in your God-given spouse. Solomon told his children to “Drink water from your own cistern,” (Prov. 5:15). Solomon urged believers to find contentment in their God-given spouse. “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of your futile life which He has given you under the sun, all the days of your futility; for this is your reward in life and in your work which you have labored under the sun.” (Ecc. 9:9). Solomon also used the analogy of a spring of water that comes from a spouse. “A locked garden is my sister, my bride, a locked spring, a sealed fountain … You are a garden spring, a well of fresh water, and flowing streams from Lebanon.” (Song of Solomon 4:12, 15). The cistern was a place where the Israelites stored water. God condemned His people for failing to use the water from the cistern that He provided. “For My people have committed two evils: They have abandoned Me, the fountain of living waters, to carve out for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that do not hold water.” (Jer. 2:13). In the New Testament, Paul urged spouses to provide for the needs of each other so that neither spouse would feel tempted to seek satisfaction from someone else (1 Cor. 7:2-5).
Love your spouse just as Jesus loves the Church. God designed marriage for spouses to fulfill and support each other (Matt. 19:4-6; Gen. 2:24). For your enjoyment in your spouse to last, it must be rooted upon God’s love, where each spouse sacrifices for the needs of the other spouse. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” (Eph. 5:25-26; 1 Pet. 3:7; Col. 3:18-19). “For the child of God, the Christian home is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. You just cannot have a relationship higher or holier than that. (J. Vernon McGee on Prov. 5:15-19).12 To stay content, love your spouse just as Jesus loved the Church.
Be content with God’s plan for you. Even though he was single, Paul learned to be content: “Not that I speak from need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. . . .And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:11, 19; 2 Cor. 9:8). Jesus also calls upon you to be content with your circumstances (Lk. 3:14). Thus, you are to be content with your spouse. Or, if God has called for you to be single like Paul, be content.
Jesus offers eternal contentment for His bride, the Church. The water that Solomon wrote about foreshadowed Jesus, the source of eternal life. “but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never be thirsty; but the water that I will give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up to eternal life.” (Jo. 4:14). “Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, ‘If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.’ The one who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.”’ (Jo. 7:37-38). Jesus will offer His bride, the Church, eternal water that will forever satisfy its every desire. “The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires, take the water of life without cost.” (Rev. 22:17).
6. Spiritual Blindness: Guard Your Heart to Avoid Becoming Spiritually Blind to Your Sins Against God and Your Spouse. Prov. 5:21.
Those who reject Jesus’ wisdom delude themselves to think they can conceal their sins. For those who reject God’s warnings about sexual temptation and adultery, Solomon warns that they should not delude themselves. Even though they may be spiritually blind to their sins, no sin can be concealed from God. “21 For the ways of everyone are before the eyes of the Lord, and He observes all his paths.” (Prov. 5:21). “God sees all thy filthy actions, though done with all possible cunning and secrecy. He taketh an exact account of all their doings, that he may recompense them according to the kinds, degrees, numbers, and aggravations of all their unchaste actions.” (Matthew Poole Prov. 5:21).13
Follow the narrow path that Jesus has set for your marriage, and He will watch over you14
No evil can escape God’s eyes. Throughout the Bible, God is declared to be all-knowing, with no evil able to escape His sight. “For My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from My face, nor is their wrongdoing concealed from My eyes.” (Jer. 16:17). ‘“Can a person hide himself in hiding places so that I do not see him?’ declares the LORD. ‘Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?” declares the LORD.”’ (Jer. 23:24). “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, watching the evil and the good.” (Prov. 15:3). “And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him to whom we must answer.” (Heb. 4:13). “For His eyes are upon the ways of a person, and He sees all his steps. There is no darkness or deep shadow where the workers of injustice can hide themselves.” (Job 34:21-22). “For the ways of everyone are before the eyes of the LORD, and He observes all his paths.” (Prov. 5:21). Thus, believers should not delude themselves that they can hide their sins from God.
God searches and knows every person’s heart. At the end of his life, David warned Solomon, ‘“know the God of your father, and serve Him wholeheartedly and with a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.” (1 Chr. 28:9). Job made a similar claim, “Does He not see my ways, and count all my steps?” (Job 31:4). God also stated to Samuel ‘“for God does not see as man sees, since man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7b). God also repeated this to Jeremiah, “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, to give to each person according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds.” (Jer. 17:10). Jesus also said this to the Pharisees, “‘You are the ones who justify yourselves in the sight of people, but God knows your hearts; because that which is highly esteemed among people is detestable in the sight of God.”’ (Lk. 16:15). Paul also stated that “and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (Ro. 8:27). Thus, part of the wisdom of fearing God (Prov. 1:7) is knowing that no sin can be hidden from Him.
Don’t be spiritually blinded to sexual sins. God once empowered Samson to kill 1,000 Philistines (Jdgs. 15:14-19). But instead of thanking God, Samson then sought to satisfy himself by sleeping with a Philistine prostitute (Jdgs. 16:1). God later allowed Samson to be captured and blinded (Jdgs. 16:19-24). His physical blindness was the outward manifestation to his spiritual blindness. All who walk by sight are spiritually blinded: “And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (2 Cor. 4:3-4; Matt. 13:22; Is. 42:16). If you embrace sin, you will also become spiritually blinded.
7. Bondage: Guard Your Heart to Avoid Bondage to Sin. Prov. 5:22-23.
Those who embrace sexual sin to place themselves into spiritual bondage. Solomon concluded by warning his children that those who reject Yahweh’s wisdom and embrace sexual sins including, but not limited to adultery, will become entrapped in their sins. “22 His own wrongdoings will trap the wicked, and he will be held by the ropes of his sin. 23 He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his foolishness he will go astray.” (Prov. 5:22-23). “Let us then remember how swiftly deeds become habits, and how the fetters, which were silken at first, rapidly are exchanged for iron chains, and how the craving increases as fast as the pleasure from gratifying it diminishes. Let us remember that there are many kinds of evil which seem to force their own repetition, in order to escape their consequences and to hide the sin. Let us remember that no man can venture to say, ‘This once only will I do this thing.’ Let us remember that acts become habits with dreadful swiftness, and let us beware that we do not forge chains of darkness for ourselves out of our own godless deeds.” (Alexander MacLaren on Prov. 5:22).15
Those who fail to control their lusts, will be placed into bondage. Jesus and Paul warned that those who fail to resist temptation will place themselves into bondage. “Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin.”’ (Jo. 8:34). “Do you not know that the one to whom you present yourselves as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of that same one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?” (Ro. 6:16). “Therefore God gave them up to vile impurity in the lusts of their hearts, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them.” (Ro. 1:24). “and they, having become callous, have given themselves up to indecent behavior for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.” (Eph. 4:19). “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” (Gal. 5:1). “promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what anyone is overcome, by this he is enslaved.” (2 Pet. 2:19). “Only by the strength of the wisdom of God can one break himself away from the cords of sin.” (Ronald Young on Prov. 5:22).16
Jesus can heal hearts that are broken through sexual sins, including adultery17
Without repentance, surrendering to temptation leads to sin and death. The allure of sexual temptation and adultery can be enticing. But it can lead to suffering and death without repentance. “There is a way which seems right to a person, but its end is the way of death.” (Prov. 14:12). “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it has run its course, brings forth death.” (Jam. 1:14-15). “For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Ro. 6:23). “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,” (Ro. 8:6).
Fear the Lord by hating evil to avoid sexual sins and adultery. David and Solomon’s failure to guard their hearts led to their serious sexual and other sins. The fear of the Lord will help you to discern evil when it entices you. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Prov. 1:7). Without the fear of the Lord, a person’s sinful desires can overpower their God-given wisdom and knowledge. Thus, a person who fears God also guards his or her heart (Prov. 4:23).
Image credit: “David and Bathsheba” (1951 movie) https://www.themoviedb.org/t/p/original/dgKitfKCWMa2EOWmBgDgM1RKFuL.jpg↩︎
B. Waltke and I. De Silva, Proverbs, A Shorter Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2021), p. 121 (italics in original).↩︎
J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible, Commentary Series, Proverbs (Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville TN 1991), pgs. 57.↩︎
Image credit: Proverbs 5 – Artofit↩︎
R. Young, Proverbs, A Commentary on the Book of Proverbs (SureWord Publications, Baltimore, MD, 2005), p. 79.↩︎
Image credit: Healing for a broken heart – Rejoice in Him↩︎
